Photo: Alex (MTV)
Dan Savage took on some kinky questions at the University of Central Florida on "Savage U" last night, and with nearly 60,000 students on campus there were plenty to go around. But it wasn't all sex toys and orgasm-talk, a bi-sexual student named Alex moved Dan so much he offered her a hug! And Dan is not a hugger.
+The Deets
Alex has identified as a lesbian for years, and chose to go a college with a big, supportive LGBT community. But recently she has become romantically and sexually interested in guys again and is fearful her gay and lesbian friends will reject her for being bisexual. She has already received some negative responses from friends and is torn up as to why her gay friends can't be happy for her, regardless of her choice. "We are bullied all the time for who we are and who we want to have sex with," she said.
+The (Sex)perts weigh in
Alex is following her gut and her heart and it's clearly causing her emotional pain. She found strength in the gay community at UCF and now she worries she will have to give that up. But anyone who is a true friend will accept you for who you are, even if you are still in the process of figuring it all out.
"You are not betraying yourself…the lesbian nation, anything by coming out as bi," said Dan. He encouraged her to embrace her feelings and to understand that there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to sexuality and labels.
"There is a B in LGBT for a reason!" Dan said. He acknowledged that there are some bi-phobic people out there, even in gay and lesbian support groups, and encouraged her to continue to be open.
"The friends in your social circle who are going to react negatively -- if they can't accept you, if they can't learn and grow -- their loss," he said.
+What You Can Do
If you are going through a difficult time, or feeling confused or judged about your sexuality or gender, talk to someone you trust. You are not alone, there are people out there who love and care about you, including Dan. Check out these great resources below for more:
It Gets Better
Founded by Dan Savage with his partner Terry, the It Gets Better Project provides support for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual young people and their allies and also connects young people with help through the Trevor Project and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.
The Trevor Project
1-866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) (available 24 hours a day)
Are you going through a difficult time? Feeling confused, lonely or blue? If you're a young person looking for someone to listen and understand without judgment or if you're feeling suicidal about issues related to sexual orientation and gender expression, the Trevor Lifeline is here to help.
Amplify Your Voice
Informational resources for gay, lesbian, bixsexual, transgender and questioning young people. Sponsored by Advocates for Youth.
Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network
The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
For more information about sexual health visit It's Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below.
Best blunt advice of the night: "You really need to learn how a vagina works."
Dan's best reaction to fans: "I'm very bad at hugs."
Dan reliving his wild spring break: "I spent a lot of time in my jank-ass hotel room reading."
Dan destroying the myth that drinking bleach will prevent pregnancy:"That will do nothing except make you very ill."
