Photo: (MTV)
Dan stopped by the University of California Irvine and nearby Newport on tonight's "Savage U," but don't expect to see him on the beach anytime soon. "I don't like the beach…I like to be fully clothed," he said. Who knew Dan had such a shy side??
Dan bonded with Albert, an Irvine student who also isn't a fan of being naked, but for Albert it's tied to some deeper confidence issues:
+The Deets
Albert is pretty down on himself. He hasn't had any luck with the ladies at college and he's convinced it's because he isn't attractive enough or that the stereotype that Asians are not well endowed is holding him back.
+The (SEX)perts Weigh In
Alby (can we call you Alby?) you need a hug. Then you need a good hard shake because honestly you HAVE to stop putting yourself down! Right. Now. We all have insecurities, but you've convinced yourself you don't deserve to have a girlfriend because you aren't hot enough. And that just isn't true.
"You are not f%&*ing ugly dude," Dan told Albert. "You need to look at yourself with new eyes."
It's something we all need to do -- stop comparing yourself to people on TV or in magazines and look at all the positive things you have to offer another person! Beating yourself down, always being so hard on yourself, you're basically telling other people it's okay to treat you poorly because you don't even treat yourself well.
"If you feel 'nobody could possibly be attracted to me' people pick up on that and read that," Dan said. "Some people will not find you attractive for reasons that may be fair, people are allowed to have tastes and preferences, and you can't let that paralyze you."
Dan advises Albert to be brave, put himself out there and get a wingman who can help encourage him to put in the effort to meet new people. We've got your back Alby, and we have a feeling something good is coming your way soon.
+What You Can Do
There are a lot of totally unreasonable expectations people put on themselves about how they should look, how skinny they should be or what clothes they should wear. It's time we start pushing back: look at yourself with new eyes as Dan suggested and let yourself appreciate YOU for who you are. If you know someone who is going through a hard time and really suffering from low self-confidence, step up and say something, you never know what your positive words could mean to them at a low moment. Albert didn't accuse anyone of bullying him, but it's clear he's heard a lot of teasing about his ethnicity, and that is just not right. To learn more about how words can hurt, check out the self-empowerment org, Love Is Louder.
A good way to build confidence in any relationship is to go into it knowing what you want, informing yourself in advance about your sexual health—like learning how to protect yourself -- and deciding what your limits are before things get too heated. Get answers to your sexual health questions at It's Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below:
Dan on learning to love your own genitalia: "You have to love your vagina, it's the only one you're going to get."
Dan's tactful approach to breaking the ice with an awkward hookup: "We hooked up, 'member??"
Best advice that applies to all areas of life: "There are some things that you don't say out loud, because you can't unsay them."
